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31 Days of Finding God – VIEW

Thank you for joining me in my series 31 Days of Finding God. Each day I am going to use a prompt from Kate and incorporate that into how I am finding God in my everyday!

IMG_8572Today’s prompt is View!

Yesterday I ran away.

There are some circumstances in my reality right now that I am not handling well (and it’s all me, me and my attitude, my perception, my negativity, my unwillingness to see the blessings.) In fact, if my view of things were different I probably wouldn’t be writing this post right now.

Instead I am sitting in my van, in a State Park close to my home, because I needed a change of scenery.

So I ran away.

I ran away from reality because I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I think that I have struggled for a long time with an inability or unwillingness to look at the positive side of life. I don’t know what it is exactly but my view of things at times feels skewed.

Everything around me could be perfect but I would find the one thing to feel negative about. It is something that I have struggled with and prayed about. Something that I’ve wrestled with God about and something that has driven me to run today.

So I ran away because I needed to see things differently. I needed to try and find a place that I could be alone with God and find a new perspective, a new view.

I did tell my oldest son and husband where I was going and when I would be back…don’t worry I am not completely insane. I grabbed my computer and my journal and my camera and headed in the direction of the State Park.

Just as I got onto the road it started to downpour. Out of nowhere, and with blue skies all around, it was raining so hard that it was difficult to see the road. But as quickly as it started, it stopped. The road was wet but the sun was shining. A reminder to me that sometimes it may feel like I am caught in a storm, but the reality is the storm is in me and the world around me is sunny and bright. My focus has become the rain.

When I got to the park I grabbed my camera and went on a hike. I took almost 60 pictures. The leaves are changing and it is beautiful.

I found a trail and I started walking. Walking and praying. Asking God to let me see all things through His eyes. That my view might not be marred by my own selfishness, irritability, and short temper. That I would be able to see the blessings in each moment and that I wouldn’t let the enemy take a foothold on me.

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I believe that through God anything is possible and I claimed the promises of His righteousness, His strength, His power. And so as I walked, I praised His goodness and asked that He do a new work in me and through me.

Towards the very end of a the trail I heard a noise. I looked up and right in front of me were 2 deer. I walked slowly around the corner and they let me get pretty close to them. It was amazing.

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It felt like a little love note from God (Right Delonna?!)

I don’t have an answer to what is next…but I know that God goes before me. I know that if I want to change my perspective, my view, I need to be in prayer constantly,  seeking to see with His eyes. My own view is oppressive and ugly.

Because so often my view is skewed by the condition of my heart. (<====Click to Tweet)

Ouch right?!

But it is reality for me and something that I know God is working on in my character right now.

Can I be content in ALL things, even when my view is clouded by the troubles of this world? I am not good at this yet. In fact I am pretty downright lousy at being able to be content in ALL things.

I want my focus to always be on the blessings in my life. To seek and find the positives in all situations. But when my heart is full of selfishness and frustrations, well positive is about the last thing I see.

Instead I have to go to God with an honest heart, ask forgiveness for my weaknesses and ask Him to change my sight. Help me see Lord with Your eyes.

May my view of my life and those around me be one of thankfulness and wonder. Because with God I have the opportunity to see all things in a new light.

In Him, Kristin

31 Days of Finding God

31 Days of Finding God – MOVE

Thank you for joining me in my series 31 Days of Finding God. Each day I am going to use a prompt from Kate and incorporate that into how I am finding God in my everyday!

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Today’s prompt is MOVE!

I have a deep dislike for exercise. I am not the type that looks forward to it, or enjoys it while it is happening. I have always said running is for when you are being chased…it just isn’t my thing.

But, I am turning 40 in less than 4 months. Crikey I know! 🙂 And while I am not unhappy with my upcoming age, I have noticed that maybe I could benefit from a little exercise, especially as I age.

So yesterday morning I decided to get up and move.

We have an elliptical, so I really have no excuse. So after my morning devotional I jumped on and “fast-walked” for 20 minutes. For those that don’t know, a “fast-walk” is slower than a run, but faster than a stroll. I averaged a good 12 minute mile…not my proudest time but I was moving none the less.

I find that when I am doing things like this I spend my time in prayer. And during my walk I was praying over my family and kept coming back to this idea.

Sometimes to find God, I have to get up and move towards God. (<==== Click to Tweet)

For years as my husband and I struggled to hold together our failing marriage and family life I sat around an expected God to come to me. I wanted Him to “fix” things, to just come in and make it better.

When that didn’t happen I got resentful. I figured that I had messed up so much that God didn’t want to deal with my problems.

I never once moved towards God.

I didn’t open the Bible and get to know about the heart and character of God.

I didn’t find time to pray (except when I wanted a quick fix.) I stood fixed, unwilling to change and expecting everyone else to do it for me.

When I finally reached that point of desperation, I moved to my knees.

In that space, I found Him.

God hadn’t ever left, but I was finally able to see how much I needed Him and that I needed to start seeking Him completely.

Those moments, when we move towards a willingness to give up control, are life changing. (<====Click to Tweet)

I found God again after so many years away when I was ready to move towards doing something different. My hope in this series is that if you are feeling desperate and alone, you might also see that you are not alone in your struggle.

In Him, Kristin

I will be adding a link to each days post at the bottom if this first post so you can easily find all of them in the series. Thanks again for joining me!

Day 2 – VIEW

Day 3 – NEW

Day 4 – LEARN

Day 5 – STUCK

Day 6 – KNOW

Day 7 – GO

Day 8 – SAY

Day 9 – JOIN

Day 10 – CARE

Day 11 – TEACH

Day 12 – REST

Day 13 – WORK

Day 14 – AWAY (Some Allume Pre Conference Fun)

Day 15 – LIFE

Day 16 – ADJUST

Day 17 – LONG

Day 18 – TASTE

Day 19 – HONOR

Day 20 – FEAR

Day 21 – SECOND

Day 22 – A GSD Post on Being Deeply Rooted

Day 23 – LOOK

Day 24 – FMF Allume Style

Day 25 – Enjoy

Day 26 – Visit

Day 27 – Free {An Awesome Giveaway}

Day 28 – Wake

Day 29 – Unite

Day 30 – First

Day 31 – Leave

Well this is a first….

The past few months have been interesting to say the least. With an eye surgery and a packed work schedule, and frankly a loss of words, this space has remained relatively silent.

Earlier this month I started seeing talk about Nester’s 31 Days series. This is the 6th year (yes I am a bit behind the times) that she has been doing this series. The idea is to pick a topic and write every day for the entire month of October.  Feeling a nudge I joined the FB group a few weeks ago but then I didn’t do anything else.

I don’t have a post prepared, or a schedule, or anything….except for an idea that came early this morning when I was exercising. That hadn’t happened much lately either…so big steps here today! 😉

The idea is this.

Seek God, find Him. Find Him in everything. The big stuff, and even more, the small.

So starting tomorrow I am going to do just that. I will be writing everyday (or at least really really trying to do so) and will be seeking God and sharing what I find here. I will also likely be using the writing prompts that Kate Montaung has come up with. She has encouraged the Five Minute Friday writers to join in and write for just 5 minutes each day.

Five minutes of writing each day about finding God. 

So I hope this will be fun for all of us, and would love to hear how you are seeking and finding God!

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