“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders….” Oceans by Hillsong United

I have a hard time trusting in things that I can’t see.

I was driving home from a trip to my old hometown recently and it was dark. We joke that this particular area of Southwest Minnesota is called the “kill zone” because of the large number of dead deer you will see along the road.

The road was winding. I realized that I could see very clearly between the two white lines that border the 2-lane highway…but beyond that, into the ditch and farther into the empty corn fields next to me, was dark. At times, if there were no other cars around, I could shine my brights and see just a bit more into the ditch. But most of the drive was done not knowing if there were deer out in the shadows.

During drives like this I find myself in constant prayer for protection. I know that there is a good chance that danger is out beyond my sight line. I can see the evidence of it scattered along either side of the highway . I am afraid of the “what-ifs”, the deer unexpectedly coming across the road, the concern that I might hit something. This can make for a long and miserable drive.

I find the same to be true in my faith walk at times.

Comfortable with God in-between the two white lines, I put Him inside of my little box and trust Him in the spaces where I can see clearly and feel I have control.

But in the shadow, in the unknown….that can be harder for me.

What-ifs can weigh heavy and fear can be debilitating.

Fear has dominated many areas of my life – is it a struggle for you as well?

I trust God well when things are calm, when I know what to expect, even in hindsight when I can reflect on His faithfulness.

I struggle most with trust during those times when the future is unknown, when the danger feels real and present. I start to question God’s timing, His provision, even His love for me.

Why is it that this is my natural response? Haven’t I seen the many ways He has been a shelter for me, a refuge in times of a storm?

Then why does my trust only extend to the places that I can see and control?!

I’d love to have you join me over at God-sized Dreams to read the rest of this story!