Author Archives: kasmith03

When Hospitality Looks Like A Late Night Cupcake Tasting

I think I need to start this post with an admission…or an apology. But it is highly likely that if you call our house, I will not answer the phone. Oh I may be there…but I am not going to answer an actual call. I know it is silly…I pretty much hate making or taking phone calls. It is something in my introverted self that feels intimidated by the potential for the “awkward silence.” So I screen and call back when necessary.

Last night I had already changed into my “don’t go out of the house lounge clothes.” Dominic was outside getting the garbages out and I was on the couch when the phone rang. I honestly figured it was the school with a graduation related announcement…so I let it go.

Then I heard the voice on the machine…was that Amy saying something about cupcakes and Dominic’s birthday? Sure enough, my friend Amy from church was calling asking if we were still up…she was making cupcakes and wanted to know if they could bring us some for Dominic’s birthday!

Can you even believe that?! Seriously I was blown away!!

So Dominic came inside and I played the message…he was surprised too. He said we could go over and pick up a few cupcakes… 😉 As a side story Amy and her husband Greg bought a house that we had looked at online several times before we moved here. It is a beautiful, older brick home with a ton of character…we had always wanted to see it in person.

So I called her back. It was 9:30 at night, I was in clothes I wouldn’t ever wear outside of the house…and we asked if we could come over instead. She said yes and we headed over.

Sometimes outrageous hospitality looks like a late night cupcake party! (<====Click to Tweet)

The heavenly smell that came out of their kitchen when they opened the door to us was AMAZING. Amy was making cupcakes for her kids to take to school on one of their last days. Lots and lots of cupcakes and all sorts of wonderful flavors.

Cupcakes with oreos on the bottoms and others with strawberries in the center. She was trying a few new recipes out, new creations, and wanted us to try a little bit of everything so we could tell her if it was a recipe she should use again.

She and her family gave us a tour of their home. She said don’t judge…it’s lived in. But all I could see was a space filled with love. Yep there may have been messes in the kids rooms and clothes in piles (just like my own)…but it didn’t matter. When you open your home, as it is, and invite people in…the condition of the space is the last thing that will be seen. What is seen is love.

We were showered with love last night.

The fact that she called and offered to share some cupcakes with us because she saw it was Dominic’s birthday was one thing. The fact that they opened their home, made us feel welcome and shared laughter and stories and cupcakes until probably way too late on a school night…that is hospitality.

She has a gift, not only in baking, but in making people feel like family.

We went home last night full and with a few extra cupcakes to share. But more importantly we felt a covering of God’s love in a way we haven’t in awhile. All she did was pick up the phone and make a call.

Is it really that simple?!

Honestly I forget sometimes how easy community can be if we are willing to step out and make a simple call. What a reminder that was for me last night. What a blessing to be remembered.

Amy, what a blessing you were to us last night. Thank you for simply picking up the phone and making that call…for inviting us in and stuffing us full of your amazing creations. 😉 I pray that God pours our a special measure of blessings on you today!

Happy 40th Birthday Dominic!!

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Today is a special day in the Smith home because my husband has FINALLY reached the glorious ranks that I have been living in since January. Yep that’s right…he is 40 today! 😉

I know that he isn’t as thrilled about turing 40 like I was….I did however get spoiled to a fun surprise weekend away. And while we aren’t wisking away for a fun filled adventure…I did want to take a moment and honor my man.

Dominic, I know we have different thoughts about how birthdays are celebrated…but I couldn’t start my day without telling you how much I love you. We have walked through difficult times but we have grown so much through them. We have laughter now. Sometimes at the most peculiar things…but it is a joy to be able to share life with you.

I was afraid what would happen when we started working together. Yes I may have quit 6 times in the first year…but you stuck with me in spite of my drama and today we make a great team. You work so hard for our family. I know most people don’t see the time, the hours, you spend so that our clients feel like they have received the best plan they can get. You truly care about each of the clients we work with. What an honor to be a part of the legacy you are leaving.

You love our kids well and I am so grateful that we have the opportunity to be parents together. You said once that our kids are one of the best things about the two if us together and you were right. They are amazing. They have a little of you and a little of me in them…and watching their personalities grow and develop has been fun.

I wouldn’t choose to do this life with anyone else.

You have taught me that life can be falling apart and yet we can still trust God. You had faith at a time that mine was failing…you were my rock. Thank you for continuing to work out your own faith so that you can be an example to me and our kids.

And while life isn’t and can’t be perfect, it is better than I could have hoped for when we first met. Yep we argue at times and we mess up…but I have never doubted your commitment to me. Thank you for always being steadfast in that.

I know that at times 40 feels old…but my prayer is that we have another 40 together. (Oh boy can you even imagine us at 80 together?!) 😉 Today I celebrate you. I thank God for allowing me to be a part of your past, present and future and I pray that you would be showered with blessings today and in the coming year.

I love you, Happy Birthday!

Mom Confessions – Smiths in Real Life – Part Seven

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What fun these “confession” posts have been….are you loving them like I am? There is something freeing about laying it all out there. And even though I would love for you all to go on believing that I have it all together, that isn’t my reality. At all. So I am joining up with my friend Anna over at Girl With Blog and sharing some of my Mom Confessions.

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It is raining A LOT here today (Sunday) and I am sitting under a blanket, feeling like it is winter all over again. Got me a taste of the warmer weather a few weeks ago and now 50 degrees feels painful. I am such a whimp! And I know the rain is good but it has been raining for hours. I have not idea how much rain we have gotten either because last summer our dog ate the rain gauge. We have yet to get a new one…so I suppose I will be guessing from here on out.

I was doing laundry yesterday and as I pulled out a fresh load from the dryer I noticed smutchz all over the dryer. This smutchz was on the clothes, everywhere. I know it is hard to tell exactly, but it was greasy and needed to be cleaned.

As I grumbled to myself about which child must have left something in their pocket for me to wash, I pulled out a pair of my own pants and to my horror found the object of my smutchz. The melted, gooey remains of a uneaten Starburst. Drats, all my fault and no one else to blame. After some soaking, another wash and some serious scrubbing…the clothes are back to clean and the dryer is shiny again.

The upside is that the dryer smelled fruity for a day! 😉

That same afternoon we decided to go the easy route and get a Papa Murphy’s pizza for lunch. My 11 year old can’t eat pizza…it makes him feel like he is going to throw up. I can’t imagine not loving pizza, but we have stopped trying to force him to participate and come up with something else for him to eat.

We didn’t have much to choose from so he got leftover noodles and a can of Ragu Alfredo sauce. Simple, easy and made him happy. I felt a little less than because I didn’t even have chicken for him to go with it – but he was happy. Sometimes easy is better!

Karlena says several words wrong but it is so adorable I have a hard time correcting her.

Mudder’s Day = Mother’s Day

Uticorn = Unicorn

Smookie = Spooky

Shark knife = Sharp knife

Dominic took the kids out to get me a “Mudder’s Day” gift the other day. He told them to keep it a secret from me. The first thing Karlena told me when they walked in the door was she picked me out a purple card. It was hilarious.

And then on Sunday I got to open my gifts…Dominic and the kids wrapped “daddy style”. I couldn’t have loved it more.

And finally I have a real “first world” problem when it comes to the car I drive…for some reason I have a hard time seeing the gas gauge.

The way I sit, once the gas gets down below a little over a 1/2 a tank, the turn signal knob blocks my line of sight and I forget to check the level of gas that I have remaining. Inevitably, I let it get so low that the dummy light comes on. This has happened several times. Several. Clearly once it hits a 1/2 a tank I should stop, but it never seems to be a priority. Does anyone else struggle with this?

We are in the last few days of school here…and the big graduation is Friday night!! Our actual “party” isn’t until next week and I can’t wait to share the wall of Isaac we have. I love it. I may leave it up inevitably….or not because that may seem creepy. But it is really cool! 😉

Have a wonderful rest of the week!!

When Community Looks Like a Rally Cry – A God-sized Dreams Post

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Community has been on my heart since I attended Allume in October. I have always had a longing to build community, but I hadn’t yet felt the calling to really implement it in my own home town. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. We are introducing some really fun things at our church here in MN and I wait in eager anticipation to see what God will do with and through all of it.

I thought that was what I was going to write about this month, until I experienced community in a completely overwhelming and different way recently. It was unexpected and born out of a trial, but sometimes community looks like a rally cry. And through this I have learned that we are stronger together.

I felt desperate.

But even with the people that I am most comfortable with, I want there to be the appearance of having it all together. (<====Click to Tweet)

Especially as the “leader” of this fine group of women, if I shared my reality…what would they all think?

But God has been showing me all year that I must have full dependence on Him, and sometimes it means that I need to be willing to ask for help.

So I sucked up my pride and sent a message to the women on this team here at GSD’s.

Honestly, I just got chills again as I think about what happened next…..

I am sharing the rest of this story over at God-sized Dreams today. Will you join me there?!

Mom Confessions – Smiths in Real Life – Part Six

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It has been a doozy of a few days around here but we have been bound and determined to make the best of it. Sometimes that is all you can do and I can tell you that having a positive attitude whenever possible sure makes a difference!

I baked some peanut butter M&M cookies the other day. I had ordered this big bag of easter colored M&M’s from Amazon and they came all crushed and broken into pieces…there is something about shards of M&M’s that just don’t taste as good as the full ones. So I found the “best” recipe on the interwebs and got to baking. For the record they aren’t the “best”…they aren’t terrible (as evidenced by the large number of cookies I have eaten in the past few days)..but I am still searching for the best recipe.

Anyways, the last pan was in the oven and then for some reason I walked away…..for waaaayyy too long. So the last batch looked like this.

Baking perfection don’t you think? And it is clear that I need some new cookie pans!

I washed a kleenex in the laundry the other day. It was everywhere. EVERYWHERE I tell you. When I cleaned out the lint tray it looked like this…

It caught most of it, but my black towel didn’t fair so well…I was picking off white specks of kleenex for 3 days.

This weekend we had big plans.

We were supposed to go to Sioux Falls on Saturday after Karlena’s dance dress rehearsal. On Friday night I went to our first ever women’s event at our church (which was amazing btw)…and came home to Karlena with a 104.7 fever. Not good.

I figured it was strep…this is how it always goes down. Fine one minute, really really sick the next. So I took her in on Saturday morning and yep, it’s strep.

Poor thing was so sick. And then with regular Tylenol and IB dosing, she perked back up. But our plans had to be cancelled because she was contagious.

So we decided to do something over the weekend that I didn’t think would happen until after graduation….

We planted our garden! I am so excited. We have tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, eggplant, zucchini, carrots, onions and potatoes!! Oh and we threw in a couple of pumpkin plants in a different area of our yard. Maybe we will get a few of those as well.

And on Monday last week we played hooky from work (thankfully we can do that when we are self-employed) and we built this amazing hanging basket holder for our front lawn. It takes the place of the birch tree we lost last year. I love it and so we also got our flowers planted as well!!

It was nice to take a bad situation and make something good out of it! Sometimes that is all we can do right?!

How was your week? Did you have an opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons?! 🙂

Mom Confessions – Smiths in Real Life – Part Five

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We had the final band concert of the year for Gabriel this past week. He plays the alto sax and is in the 5th grade. They have improved SO much this year! And can I just say that our middle school music director knows how to do it right when it comes to concerts. They combine the 5th grade and 7th grade and the entire concert was 30 minutes. We came from a town where the concerts were sometimes over an hour. And while I love me some music…an hour long is too long, wouldn’t you agree?

I have still not painted those shelves for our toy room. I am losing hope at this point. Anyone want to paint 2 shelves for me? Please, pretty please? 😉 So I may never blog about my toy room redo….and when it looks like this…well it is no longer the cute, welcoming place it once was.

Reality friends, reality!

And for another dose of reality…I let my girl do this the other day.

I know I shouldn’t let her lick the leftover brownie batter…but when you look so cute in your ladybug helmet and climb on the counter to help yourself…how does a mama say no?

And yesterday I got to attend Karlena’s dance class. It is parent visitation week so we get a glimpse of what they do in class each week. My daughter clearly attends dance for the social aspect of it.

She was a chatty Kathy the entire time. Even expressed (loudly and for ALL to hear) while they were stretching their noses to their toes, that “my feet smell like sandwich”...ahhh yes the old “my feet smell like sandwich” comment to really make a mama proud! 😉

It was evident today that my dreams of a dancer daughter are just that…dreams. Comedian or expert gallop-er, yes…yes those may just be in her future! But prima ballerina…well at this point it is not looking good!

So there you have it…another week full of fun around here. We did do some pretty awesome projects that probably deserve a post of their own…so with that I bid you farewell and happy middle-of-the-week!

Where Grace and Suffering Meet

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Today is a special day as it would be Karlena’s 40th birthday. And I am pretty sure that her 40 and fabulous party in heaven isn’t anything like we would be having here.

But I miss her. And I wish that I was celebrating with her in person.

Today at church I am leading a song for worship team. (Please pray as you read this because it still TERRIFIES me.) Anyhoo….It is called At the Foot of the Cross.

I have listened to the song over a hundred times in the last 4 days and the words have sunk in deep, covering my soul with the reality that is the dance between suffering and grace.

The video I am attaching below is one where they show clips from the Passion movie. The scene where Jesus is being raised up on the cross and his beloved friends are at the foot of the cross watching.

I understand the pain they must have felt at that moment. Their friend and companion, their teacher and example was dying and they would never be the same again.

I imagine they must have wondered how any beauty could ever come from something so painful.

But it is at the foot of the cross, the very tool used for extreme suffering, that we find just that.

Beauty from ashes.

Hope in the midst of suffering.

Light in the darkness.

The cross is the very reason that the loss we all experience is not the end.

We have been given new life when we accept Jesus as our Savior. And that new life offers the promise that death is not the end. And while I would rather celebrate this special birthday with Karlena in person, I rejoice in the fact that one day we will be reunited.

And oh the party that will be.

I don’t know what burden you are carrying this morning.

Maybe it is the loss of a job, or a struggle in your marriage. Maybe your arms long for a baby of your own. Maybe you are carrying the weight of a sickness or the struggle with anxiety or depression.

Whatever it is, I encourage you to lay it down. If you have to physically do the act of setting it down, do that. Set it down at the foot of the cross.

We weren’t meant to carry it on our own. Jesus came to do the heavy lifting. But for some of us it means we have to first let go.

There is freedom found in trusting God with everything. We might not always understand the trials we face, but we can walk confidently knowing that He will make beauty out of all of it.

Happy Birthday Karlena. You are loved and missed but I rejoice today in your complete and total healing. Until the day we celebrate together…I love you friend!

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk7_SBxYSZs[/youtube]

When You Don’t Have a Romantic “Proposal Story”, and Why it is OK.

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Dominic was at a small group the other day with some men from church. At some point the leader asked everyone to go around the room and share their “proposal story.” These types of prompts can be difficult for us because the reality is we don’t have one.

I have shared here before a little about the path we started out on. It wasn’t easy. When we share our story our hope is that others will see how God used us, even in our sin, for His glory.

We were selfish and self-centered and made adult choices that had big consequences. We were in the camp of “that won’t ever happen to me”…so it was a complete shock when I found out I was pregnant my junior year of college.

The day I found out I called Dominic and we had a conversation. He told me that the best choice was that we get married and take care of our new responsibility.

That was it. No roses or romantic dinner out, no shopping for rings and no down-on-one-knee proposal. We had a conversation and based on our situation made a choice, made a commitment to one another.

But every girl dreams of that romantic proposal, don’t they?

I can’t say I feel cheated necessarily, but I do feel sad that because of our choices, we didn’t get to do it the “right” way. Even Dominic said that he wished that things could have been done differently.

Sin does that though, it robs us of what is best for us. And while a lasting marriage isn’t contingent on the proposal, it is a fun story that is shared over and over.

And as a girl who loves a good story…well it is frustrating that I don’t have one to share in this area.

As I was thinking about it the other night though I recognized that I did have a proposal story. It isn’t what one typically shares at bridal showers, but it is beautiful and romantic in its own way. And it is a proposal that I continue to live out day after day.

Jesus said “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us…” 1 John 3:16

In one of the most amazing acts of courtship, Christ came to woo each of us to Him. (<====Click to Tweet)

He called us by name, He showed us what true, unconditional love looks like. And then instead of getting down on one knee, He stretched His arms out wide, bore nails in his wrists, and died for each and every sin that we would commit.

All He asks is that we believe in Him, put our faith in Him…and we are promised eternal life.

All too often I am looking at Dominic to be my Jesus.

I want him to fulfill every need that I have. Meet my unrealistic expectations and act perfectly. Things he can’t possibly do. None of us can.

If my happiness is based on Dominic meeting some impossible standard that I have set for him, then I will likely find myself bitter and resentful. The same could be said for him as well. We are human, we fail each other all the time!

God knew we couldn’t be perfect, we couldn’t do it all…and He knew I wasn’t capable of unconditional love.

So He sent a bridegroom that was.

Each and every day I am grateful for that proposal. His gift of grace allows me to live my life with grace for others. I don’t do it perfectly, ever. But I don’t have to.

There is freedom in that isn’t there?!

So while I won’t ever have the fairy-tale “worldly” proposal to share at bridal showers….I know that I am a part of a much bigger, romantic story. Written in the pages of the Bible. And for that I am truly grateful.

Photo Credit: mikecogh

Mom Confessions – Smiths in Real Life – Part Four

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This week feels less like a “confession” and more like “life theses days” but there has been a lot going on and honestly this is a way for me to remember it all! And even though I would love for you all to go on believing that I have it all together, that isn’t my reality. At all. So I am joining up with my friend Anna over at Girl With Blog and sharing some of my Mom Confessions.

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Karlena threw a massive fit after dance class last week because I wouldn’t let her go in the fish pool in our backyard. It was 65 degrees. Yes it was warmer than it had been for weeks, but it was NOT pool weather, especially not at 5pm. Heck I don’t even know where the darn pool even is right now! I said no. She screamed her ever loving head off for like 10 minutes. So I did what any mom would do. I took a video of her and posted it to FB. Because sometimes seeing another child throwing a fit makes you feel better about your own life. Mama friends, you are welcome.

This young man is the future graduating class of 2028!

We had kindergarten roundup, which felt oddly like a sale-pitch for parents. I guess because there are choices now maybe it has become a sales-pitch? It was good – but a little weird! 🙂 And how old does 2028 make you feel? OLD? Yeah me too!

This little miss had a fun visit to the dentist this past week…

Yes, she had 2 cavities. I think I shared before that I feel like that is a reflection on me as a mother, but whatever…I am getting over it. We will continue to brush, but when it is a battle…typically I lose. :/ Anyways. She got the laughy gas but did SO good. It was a fairly long appointment because they have to let the gas kick in, let the tooth get “sleepy”…and then do the fixes. She handled it like a champ though, so I was proud of her!

A few weeks ago we had a home appraisal done. We are finalizing a refi this week, lower interest and no more PMI (#winning) but as a part of that we had to have a home appraisal. No biggie right? That is until you remember on the morning of that a stranger is going to be coming into your home AND taking pictures of all the rooms and your home is a PIT…that you go into complete and total panic mode.

So what did we do? We skipped work for 2 hrs that morning and FRANTICALLY cleaned. I was a hot sweaty mess. I just threw things into closets and said a prayer he wouldn’t need to open them for any reason (he didn’t PTL!!!) But now 3+ weeks later I have never gone back and cleaned up my mess. Nope…haven’t even thought of it. And maybe never will open the doors again if I can avoid it all together! 😉

Elijah became a man this past week when he came home with this….

Isn’t it awesome? There was a carnival at the school he attends and he came home with these tattoos! 🙂 He looks so adorable!

And finally my oldest went to prom this past weekend. He went with friends from our old hometown. I didn’t get to see him in person because we had things to be at here so I had other moms taking pictures for me! He looks so grown up to me…it is probably better that I wasn’t there because I would have embarrassed him with all the tears! 🙂

Well thanks for hanging in there with me this week…I will try and be more confessional next week!

Mom Confessions – Smiths in Real Life – Part Three

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This week has felt harder than some…and I am going to try and bring some humor to my post but may just need a virtual shoulder to cry on this week. So even though I would love for you all to go on believing that I have it all together, that isn’t my reality. At all. So I am joining up with my friend Anna over at Girl With Blog and sharing some of my Mom Confessions.

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For some humor (or horror) you take your pick…my week started with this “reality check” from my sweet little miss….I was changing into my painting clothes this weekend and Karlena happened into my room. She took one look at me and said (and I swear I am not kidding) “EEEWWWW!” So me, the clueless one, asks what she is eewwwwing, to which she responds… “Your legs mama, they are SOOO GROSS!” “They are just sooo gross.”

And then she left the room. And so did my self-esteem. 😉 Yes my legs are white, and thankfully because of my genetic background, quite vein-y. But gross? Really was that necessary? (I will spare you all a picture because well at this point I can’t take any more rejection!)

This is what I had for breakfast on Monday…

I have no self control. I honestly felt that because of all the oatmeal and peanut butter in it that it was a lot like a healthy snack. This on the morning that I ~~could have~~ should have started a 40 day sugar fast with the ladies over at Mother of Boys. Who am I kidding though, right now I am too emotionally unstable to be giving up sugar. That is probably just why I should…but it isn’t happening today.

And why am I so emotionally unstable you might ask?

Well for starters…this…

I think the reality of this all is really setting in. My oldest, the one I made ALL the mistakes with, is actually graduating and like leaving (probably forever, I mean he will visit but he may never live long term with us again.) And I realize that this is a part of life, and I am so proud of him and excited to see him chase his dreams but oh the “letting go” is hard isn’t it?

And I feel like such a complete and total failure when it comes to what I should have done already for his graduation party. The invitations aren’t even addressed, I don’t have a single picture board made…heck when our external hard drive died 2 years ago we lost like 7 years of his documented digital life that I won’t ever get back.

A few years ago I made these amazing boards for a friends son(s) who were graduating. I totally love doing that kind of thing, but now my first born is graduating and I haven’t done anything and don’t know how in a month I can. Can we say #momguilt. Ugh.

The reality is he probably doesn’t care but I also don’t want him to think he isn’t super important. I don’t want our party to be totally lame compared to everyone else’s. How 11th grade is that?!

I need therapy.

And for the love of all things good and holy how do you plan for a party when you have NO IDEA how many people will come? I ordered 100 cupcakes, I think that will be enough, but what if it is short…what if we only need 30. Seriously I need therapy don’t I?!

So there you have it.

And to add to the fun, Elijah has been sick for the past 2 days. Bad stomach pains…we thought he was using the bathroom normally, if you catch my drift…but apparently maybe not as much as he should.

So he missed a day of school last week because of a stomach ache. Then 2 this week…I took him into the clinic this morning just to make sure it wasn’t something more serious.

Turns out his belly is full of some pretty hard poo. Yep that’s fun! So we are upping our fiber, eating some dried apricots and drinking a lot of water. All good stuff….or will hopefully produce some “good stuff.”

So with that I bid adieu. 😉

***And a happy update since I wrote this post – I stayed up late and got the invitations addressed so thank God that part is done!!***