Author Archives: kasmith03

31 Days of Seeking Him – Crash

31 Days of Seeking Him

He is 18 and my first born. I have a fierce desire to protect him with everything that is in me…but he is also an adult now and making decisions on his own.

One of those decisions came when he got his motorcycle permit. We don’t own a motorcycle, but he has a good friend who’s family does and so he wanted to get his permit so one day they could ride together.

I can say I wasn’t really thrilled about this…so many bad things can happen and I worried for his safety.

But Isaac is a levelheaded young man and soon after getting his permit he signed up for the motorcycle safety course. He spent several hours over a weekend riding, practicing new skills and defense mechanisms to keep him safe on the road.

His friend invited him out to ride one night and I said a quick prayer that God would protect him.

I didn’t know what had happened until later that evening. They had been riding and heading around a slight bend in the road. Isaac was the 2nd in line and his tire hit a small patch of gravel and he started to lose control.

He did all the things he had been trained to do and drove it into the ditch and laid the bike down in the grass. It could have been so much worse. He didn’t crash the bike, but it was an accident.

A learning experience our friend’s father said.

Apparently most riders have a story…a crash or an accident that has happened. An experience that they have learned from. Isaac just got his on his first ride out!

As a mother, part of me wants to forbid that he ride again. But the reality is that he learned from this experience. They went back to the place it happened the next day to see how he may have approached that curve differently.

If we are willing we can learn from the crashes in our lives.

Yes they will happen, inevitably, so are we willing to go back and see what we could have done differently and then be brave enough to move forward?

I have been a fear-filled woman for too long.

I crash and then I don’t want to try again. But God has protected me, and I am seeing through the example of my brave son, that I too can learn and grow and move forward.

If we seek God we can learn from our mistakes and be strengthened to get back up and try it a new way the next time. Thank God for His provision and protection and that we can start again.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Silence

31 Days of Seeking Him

Psalm 62: “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” (v. 1-2)

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” (v 8)

I think that one of the most difficult parts of my faith life are the times when there is perceived silence from God. Now let me clarify that I do not and have not ever heard the audible voice of God.

Although there have been times that I have asked! “Speak to me Lord…tell me what to do and I will do it…” these requests are followed by silence.

But there have been times that I feel God has spoken to me through other people, or an open or closed door, a hitch in my spirit about a decision that needs to be made. So while it isn’t an audible answer…there are times I feel clearly led by God.

As a perfectionist and people pleaser I want to follow God’s plan for my life…and sometimes I just don’t know what that is and I am so afraid of making a mistake.

What if I take a wrong turn, will I ruin my chances at my best life?! Will I mess it all up?!

But the verses in Psalm 62 bring me comfort.

For God alone my soul waits in silence because from Him comes salvation.

I don’t need to seek out anyone or anything else…God is my refuge and my strength and I can pour out my heart to him.

There will be times in my life that I don’t know what to do. Times when I ask for direction and may not get a strong leading one way or another. During those times I can wait. I can calm my spirit and ask God to lead me when He is ready.

While I’d love my life to be on my time table I have learned that it often isn’t! So I will continue to seek Him, to ask for guidance and lean on Him when I need help. He is my refuge, my guide….

Silence doesn’t have to be a bad thing, maybe it is just an opportunity to still ourselves and wait.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Joy

31 Days of Seeking Him

I can’t believe that we are almost through this month. 26 of my 31 posts were written in advance so I knew I just had to get the chosen word each week and write one post.

Easy peasy one would think. But can I admit that I groaned a little when I saw the choice for this Friday….Joy.

Normally it would be easy for me to snap out a post on what the word Joy means to me…but today, if I am being honest I was just not feeling it.

It has been a tough week. One of those weeks that is painful getting through. Most of it my own doing, which is hard to admit, but joy has been about the farthest feeling from me.

I can be a pretty negative person and very quickly can fall into the “everything is hopeless trap”.

It is a terrible place to stay and I know that it isn’t where God wants me to live.

And then I came across a reading in Psalm 28: 6-7 Praise be to the Lordfor he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

There will be times in our lives that are not filled with joy. Times that are heavy and hurt-filled, hopeless and unsure.  Times when we need mercy and grace and other times we need to be the one to forgive.

I don’t typically walk through these trials with much joy. But these verses remind me that God has heard my heart cries. He IS with me. Even when I have failed Him, He is my strength and my shield.

What a blessing that little reminder was for me today.

If I believe the Word of God to be true, how can I not have a spirit of joy?

My circumstances may not have changed, but I can look at them with a different perspective. It is a reminder that we can have hope, we find joy in the Lord. I can’t let the happenings in my life, even the ones I cause by my own bad will, rule my emotions.

I don’t need to live in a pit of negativity, I can choose joy.

The Lord is my strength. He is my shield, my protector, the solid rock when I am unsteady, and today I rejoice in that truth. Just the act of seeking Him by searching for a verse on joy when I feel none, has power to change my attitude. I hope dear friend if you find yourself discouraged it gives you a bit of hope to keep chasing Him…

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!!  🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Value

31 Days of Seeking Him

Can I share a secret with you?

One of my biggest hurdles, the thing that trips me up more often than anything else is my need to impress others. It is hard to admit that, but it is true.

I have long had a deep need to seek approval and acceptance from others. As early as 6th grade I knew that I didn’t fit in and I so desperately wanted to. Maybe the cheerleading squad would get me there…or a boyfriend, all the popular girls were “going out” with a boy.

Insecurity keeps me waist deep in the struggle to find value in what those around me think of me. I am not always patient and I would be terrible at homeschooling my kids, and I don’t really have the desire to stay at home, I enjoy working. That alone must make me a terrible mother.

So instead I put on a happy face, dress my kids up nice for church and tell them that they better behave “or else.” We need to make a good impression to those that matter most.

It’s all a fancy show, and I am guessing those that know me well, aren’t buying it.

I read books about how I should focus on the value I have in the eyes of God…and while I want to believe that, the enemy reminds me of how very broken I really am.

Surely God can’t value a girl like me. That woman down the street that has it all together…I’m certain God values her more than someone as flawed as me.

I don’t share these whispers so that you will all tell me how great I am…really, I do so because I believe that there are those out there believing the very same lies and are just as stuck as I am.

Because that’s what they are…lies.

God doesn’t value us because of what we do, how perfect or imperfect we are.

No He looks at each of us, His creation, made in His image and He loves us. He values us because we are His. We don’t have to do anything to deserve this kind of love. Thank goodness right?!

I still struggle with the need to impress. I am learning very slowly who I am IN Christ. I know that freedom is possible, I am just not walking fully in it yet. But I have hope.

By seeking God each day, reading His word and reminding myself who He says I am, beloved, chosen, a woman of value….I am walking towards freedom and I trust that He is with me every step of the way.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Wave

31 Days of Seeking Him

It never stops.

The endless rolling of the waves in the ocean. It builds and rolls and crests and crashes, over and over again.

I sat out on the balcony of the condo we rented in Florida in September. My internal clock didn’t seem to know it should be on vacation mode and I woke at my normal time. I forced myself to rest a short time more, but the waves were calling me.

I snuck outside and was protected by the rain storm that was rolling into the gulf. The sky was overcast and the water dark but even though the sun wasn’t shining its beautiful rays, the scene was amazing.

There is something about the sound of the waves crashing that is calming and yet joyful as well.

Waves

I felt like I was in the audience of a concert that was being played for the God that placed the seas, the God that told the ocean when to roll and when to crash upon the shore.

It was breathtaking.

I posted a short video online and said that I could listen to that sound for the rest of my life. An endless song, a rising and falling with a crescendo at the end as the wave meet the shoreline.

As I spend time seeking God it is my prayer that my hearts song would be one of endless praise.

Like the ocean that sings and never stops, I too want a life that reflects my gratefulness and worship to the one who created me. What a gift that morning was. And while I won’t be able to see that every day here in Minnesota…I want to always remember.

The waves cry out, they sing and dance and so should I.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Temporary

31 Days of Seeking Him

As the rains pelted down and threatened to thwart our outdoor plans I was frustrated. Why does it always seem like rain comes at the most inopportune times?

Living in a farming state, and working with mostly farming families I am well aware of the value of the rain. We had a period in the summer where it rained really hard for one day a week. Just enough soaking to encourage the crops to grow but not too much that would overwhelm the plants.

We need the rain, it nourishes and replenishes.

But sometimes it comes and I find myself upset with its timing. An outdoor picnic cancelled, a day stuck indoors.

With so many things though, it is temporary.

The storms roll in, the rain comes, the lightening crashes and the thunder roars and then as quickly as it came in…it moves one.

There have been times in my life that have felt like the storms have stalled out over my life. The raging is deadening and the water threatens to drown me. But always and without fail the storm passes and calmer times return.

In the middle of a crisis I can’t seem to remember that it is temporary.

I am stuck in the thick of it and upset. My focus becomes the storm, and I can’t see past it.

In hindsight I can say that every difficult season was temporary but one thing that was constant was God.

Through all of it, the rainy and the sunshine days, God has been with me. It is easy to see Him and feel Him when things are good. In the past though, during the hard I could only see the hard.

Seeking God with every bit of my being means seeing Him even in the dark parts. Recognizing that He IS there, He IS present and working. Remembering that every other storm that has come has been temporary and I was always able to see how He had a hand in my protection.

I don’t want to be a forever “hindsight girl”. I want to be the kind of believer that knows that she knows that she knows that God IS always with me. The trials are temporary but my God? He is forever.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Honor

31 Days of Seeking Him

While on our girls weekend away Gindi and I watched the Miss America pageant. Oh yes we did. I haven’t honestly seen it in years and we just laughed and tweeted our way through the entire show.

Watching it was painful at times, the inappropriate dress choices, the interview answers and the talent…oh the talent.

Some of the women were really good and a few struggled, it seemed as though they were trying to make something theirs that wasn’t.

But as I was thinking about it today I realized how very brave they were. Imagine the pressure of being judged, nit-picked, watched by an audience of millions, no thank you!

To stand on the stage and own a gift God had given them….it took guts.

I sing on the worship team a few Sundays a month. I have always loved singing and from the time I was in middle school wished I had the courage that some of my friends did.

One girl, Heidi, came to school every day for weeks with her hair tied up in these rollers because she was in a play outside of school and she needed her hair to be show ready after school. She looked crazy ridiculous, but I had such respect for her. She loved what she was doing and didn’t care how crazy she looked doing it.

I on the other hand stand on our stage on Sunday mornings and tremble with fear. Almost every time I get up there I feel sick to my stomach. Certain that all.the.people must be looking at me instead of the words, I am afraid what will happen if I mess up.

I so quickly forget that I am there to lead people into their own worship. And by using a gift God gave me, I am honoring Him too.

It isn’t about me.

I know I have said that before and I repeat it more for myself than you sweet friends, but apparently I am a slow learner!

I sing because He created me to worship Him best in that way. I don’t say eloquent prayers or spend enough quiet time on my knees. But when I sing, it is to Him. The words of the songs are my love letter to the Father who gave me my voice.

I seek to honor my God with the very talents He birthed in me. It is never about me, only Him. That one bears repeating so I don’t ever forget.

What unique gift has God given you that you can use to honor Him?

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Worth

31 Days of Seeking Him

Acts 20:22-24 “An now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”

I love the stories of Paul. His conversion and then his undying devotion and commitment to Christ and sharing the good news. Paul was a man seeking God in every way possible.

In the book of Acts we read about his travels to different lands, the encounters he has there and the faith he has in the journey.

And yet Paul was a man that faced persecution, actual physical persecution. He was warned that hardships and prison were likely facing him on his travels and yet he boldly goes anyways…why?

Because he knows that his life is worth nothing in light of the gospel, the Christ.

His only “job” was to share the saving grace of Christ with others.

A calling that is for us here today, but how often do I pursue it as bodily as Paul did?

The reality is that I often place my worth in people, places and things. I want to appear worthy, I want to be worthy in the eyes of those around me.

I stress and I worry about what people might be thinking, I get stuck in the comparison game and struggle with jealousy. I forget that I have the great opportunity to be a vessel of Christ’s love to others and instead I strive to be a perfect wife/mother/friend. And for what?

Paul had it figured out.

Maybe it was enough times of hardship, maybe it was having seen the real life man of Jesus in person…I don’t know, but he knew that his worth was nothing in light of the good news.

I seek God every day so that I can continue to shed this need to be something I am not. To find my worth in others.

Instead in this seeking I hope to find that place that I am confident in who God created me to be and I can start to use my talents and gifts for His glory alone.

I am a work in progress, that is for sure. But knowing that this refining brings me closer to God…well that makes it all worth it.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Offer

31 Days of Seeking Him

There are so many days that I come to this space and wonder what I have to offer. Hasn’t every thing already been said, and likely by someone more eloquent than me?!

The enemy loves nothing more than to whisper lies to us and tell us that we don’t have what it takes. How often do I listen to those lies and remain stuck?

More than I’d like to admit.

I started blogging with high hopes of one day writing a book. Isn’t that the dream of so many of us? To see our names on the cover of an actual book?!

Experts on writing and publishing say that we should write even when we aren’t inspired…just to do the action of writing, to keep practicing. But that doesn’t work for me. If I don’t feel a leading, or inspired I don’t feel like I can “fake” it.

So at times the pages of this space remain empty.

As I continue to seek God, to walk in the faith journey that He has me on, I am learning that I do have something unique to offer. My story.

We all have one. Some of the parts of my story may sound familiar, and other times maybe not so relate-able. But it is mine and by sharing the hope that I have found in my relationship with God, I am bringing an offering back to Him.

My words may never leave the confines of this place and I am becoming more at peace with that. I love sharing my heart here and offering what I do have. I don’t have it all figured out but hopefully by sharing the good and the bad, I can be a a safe place for others to do the same.

So be brave, seek God and then tell your story, be a light to someone today.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

31 Days of Seeking Him – Green

31 Days of Seeking Him

The colors are changing quickly around town these days. The green that once filled the ground this summer is fast being replaced with browns. A sure sign of the ever changing seasons.

In the winter we hold onto hope that the green will come once again. We watch for it as the snow melts, we cheer when life appears again. In what at times seems like the endless drag of winter, the signs of new growth remind us that spring is just around the corner.

I love the changing seasons. This time of year is especially beautiful when the trees start to reveal their hidden beauty. What was once green begins to turn to yellows, oranges and brilliant reds. I have always wanted to travel to the Northeast where I hear they have some pretty magnificent displays! I am continually inspired by the beauty of the earth around me.

There is something about these changing seasons that reminds me of the growth I have had in my faith life.

At times I have felt cold and stuck in a repeated winter blah. God seems far away. (Usually it is me that has withdrawn and not Him) I fear that there won’t ever be new growth and yet I hold onto the hope of newness. Newness found in seeking Him.

And as it always has, spring comes again. New growth, new life….a greening of my faith as I experience life with God in a renewed way.

While the seasons change around me I can be  sure that there is one constant in all of it, and that is God. He is the same in each season of my life. He has always been there…even when I have pushed Him away, fought Him, blamed Him. God has always been beside me.

As I continue to seek God more and more I become more secure in His presence in my life. I see Him in the changing colors, I feel His presence even in the depths of winter and I find hope in the promise of new life that comes with the greens of spring.

He is and always has been there and I walk in faith knowing that will never change!

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂