“Satan is a full-time accuser. He does it day and night, the Bible says (Revelations 12:10). Instead of convicting you for the purpose of restoration, as God’s Spirit does, he condenms you for the purpose of destroying, humiliating.” Fervent p28

For a long time I believed that God was punishing me.

I found myself in a hard marriage (much my own doing) but instead of taking responsibility for my part in the problems, it was easier to blame God and believe that the reason life was so hard was because I was a sinner.

Pregnant before we were married I had sinned in the ultimate way, I believed. God couldn’t and wouldn’t love someone like me and so with every trial we faced I saw it as a punishment.

It is hard to build a solid relationship with a God that you feel is punishing you 24/7.

And isn’t that right where the enemy wanted me? For years I was deceived and my relationship with God was distant and strained.

Oh God was always there and I know now that He loved me right through that time…but I kept God at arm’s length. Sure I would pray when I needed something (He was my spiritual vending machine remember?) but my prayers were not filled with love and awe for Him.

They were empty and selfish prayers. The prayers of someone who was stuck in the mire of lies from the enemy.

Yes there were choices I made that brought me to a place of conviction, but instead I saw it as condemnation.

Shame has been a tool that the enemy has used against me for years.

Until this past year, I wasn’t even really aware of it either. But I spent some time reading a book called “Tired of Trying to Measure Up” and the core focus of that book was how shame can shape who we are.

I understood shame in my earliest years, although I wouldn’t have labeled it as that. I felt in my heart that I was not ok. No one said that to me that I can remember, it was just a pervasive feeling I have always had.

Enter awkward teenage years, bad hair, braces and glasses…I was not what you would consider “popular” and I so desperately wanted to be more.  So I tried to be the smart girl instead. But I wasn’t the smartest. I was painfully shy so things like theater or swing choir, while appealing, were not something I could try out for.

The enemy knows my fears and I was an easy target. Even today I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. And while I can more easily call them out for what they are…it isn’t easy walking as though they don’t bother me.

Priscilla says this “He (the enemy) warps your perspective on the current events in your life until reality appears much worse and more desperate than it truly is.” p29

What situation is he warping in your life right now?

It may be really bad, I have been there. I’ve walked through the really bad…so I am not trying to write it off as unimportant. But what if, in these moments, we stopped acting in crisis mode and started to pray that God would reveal His perspective?

I imagine that the chains the enemy has had me in for so long would start to be broken if I stopped seeing life as another crisis and started asking God to show me the way forward.

We are going to be faced with difficulty, the Bible says that in John 16:33! But read the second half of that verse…“But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Satan is the great accuser yes, but God IS the MIGHTY REDEEMER!

The battle has already been won. The enemy is just hoping that during your journey you would be filled with more stress and doubt than peace. But God has already had the final word and one day we will understand all things clearly.

So for today, whatever battle you face…step forward in prayer. Ask God for clarity and wisdom. In whatever you are doing, invite God to reveal His truth to you. The accuser will continue to come at you but you can fight back in prayer!

Lord, You are mighty and we claim the promise today that the battle has already been won. While the enemy may still attack us we can remain firm in Your Truth. Help us in our moments of doubt and fear to seek You first. We know Lord that when we call out to You, You hear us. Thank you that we don’t have to walk this path alone. In Jesus Name, Amen